So a couple of days ago, I found myself wanting to cry. Phone in hand, I was staring at the whatsapp chat.
Why was I being replied to in such a curt, formal manner? Aren’t we really close? How? How had her behaviour changed so much ? She used to be so cheerful towards me. Always. I was her confidante. She was mine. Everyone had joked that only death could do us apart.Then why was I receiving cold vibes that were strategically distancing her from me, pushing me to the periphery of her circle of friends?
I concluded, for the umpteenth time, that I am in one of my weak, vulnerable, over-sensitive moments, and that I am only imagining this. As my heart reached this conclusion ,my mind chuckled softly, wryly. For it knew, that I was really being ignored by a friend who had previously been very, very close to me and that it wasn’t just this whatsapp chat, but many other incidents that had made me want to cry. And such an event was happening to me for the third time in a year.In fact, I have even mentioned one such event in a previous blog.
So why do I have so many friendship heartbreaks in my life? I loved these people so much. The doors of my handle-with-care heart, I opened to them. I let them in. I gave them time.Made their problems my own. Made their worries worry my soul. Then where did I fail? Lying down on my bed, I consoled my heart with new conclusions.
The truth is, loving people simply means not expecting from them. So when I say,” I loved these people so much ” I am not really talking about pure, pristine love. I am talking about a love and friendship my generation is used to—a love that binds. It binds you with expectations. It is not a love that is healthy for any relationship.
I realised, that if I truly love people, then I have to forgive them with all my honesty. When you forgive people for their small and big mistakes, you truly liberate them. And also yourself. With forgiveness, when we allow the ones we love to choose their paths, we free them. When we allow them their space and privacy when they want to be alone, we free them. When we forget about the times they had vented out their frustrations on us, we free them. When we accept that they don’t need or want us anymore and want to move on, we free them. Freeing people we love,quietly, is true love!
By any stretch of imagination, mopingly going through the history of your whatsapp chats with your friend, is no declaration of mountain-smashing friendship. Being patient with your friend is. Well, friendship and love is really, being there when they least expect you to—with a forgiving, liberating smile!
So with this thought, and an insignificant, inhuman, electronic whatsapp chat deleted and erased from the memory of my phone and mind, I was able to console my heart. And if you yourself are reading this with fissures created in your heart by people whom you love, then try forgiving them. Try freeing them.