Will is one beautiful thing. The lack of it can make the extraordinary be content with the ordinary, and the presence of it can make the ordinary achieve extraordinary feats, with each passing day. Oh! I forgot to add, the lack of will can also make me neglect my blog for two months.

Good evening all. I am back. And no, I am not back with a bang. My year did not start the way everyone thinks it should. Actually, I hate this part of the year. The memories, madness and sheer melodrama of my life in the previous year gone, I feel a vague, emotional lacuna tearing apart my being . This is the time when the December vacations and their revelry end and I have to wake up every day to a life, which in my aunt’s words, is “limping back to normalcy”.

The day college officially started, I was bombarded with a slew of impending deadlines, and several academic notes waiting to be completed. Also, on my jiggly shoulders, was the responsibility of getting myself a railway concession form. Okay. Let me assume that you are ignorant about my situation. So a railway concession form is a form issued to students by the Indian railways via their colleges so that they can avail a concession on their railway passes. Cool. But here is the ugly bit. One has to brave a really, really long queue to get the precious concession form in my college. And dear reader, I waited for two goddamned hours to get mine.

But hang on, that’s not the only waiting I did . I also had to wait for my vice-principal to sign my form ( it is unfairly mandatory for students travelling by my route). And I kid you not, I waited for four hours. That makes it a total of six hours. When she finally signed it, my heart wept tears of joy. It was over. This seasonal ritual, this dark and trying time was gone. All I had to do was buy a first class pass with the concession. But fate had other plans. My overburdened-with-demands brain forgot that the form expires within three days. And so, when I went to take a pass today morning, I was refused concession.

But optimistic as ever, I paid a fine in college and got the date changed. I returned from college completely exhausted from the second class journey of a Mumbai local train. My readers should know that I, like many girls, am in morbid dread of the ladies’ second class compartment of the train. This is because, you get subjected to a humongous, furious crowd of women who push, grab, pull with the agility and expertise of an Olympic medalist. These women are working women of the lower income groups of the city and are very different from the refined, delicate darlings of the first class compartment. They elbow away hoards of people ( in that tiny box of a compartment) with brute force and can quarrel with fellow passengers with the ear-piercing timbers that their voices are cursed with. They are frustrated women. God alone knows what they face in their homes and workplaces (and he forbid, we never know). They fight to survive. They have killer will. And boy, they are terror.

So I was back from a ride with these women. I was back from a ride where I had stood in awkward positions in the crowd (why, I had had my face right under the armpit of a tall woman!) for hours, been squished badly by all the pressure, had my nose in the sweaty stench of the ill-ventilated train…and well…had been mentally exhausted as well. I hurried to the ticket window to make myself a first class pass as soon as I reached my station. And then the woman at the window told me that I needed yet another signature from the vice principal, for having altered the date.

Another day..yet another day…another wait for the vice-principal…another day with the ladies.But will really is one beautiful thing. It made me survive this day and I am sure it will make me survive another. And another. Still, I seriously wished I could go to the Himalayas and perform a severe penance and gain the favour of lord Shiva. I decided that when he would ask me what I want for my unparalleled devotion and discipline, I would request him for his marvellous third eye. And quite positively, I would burn the human civilization and it’s superfluous, time-consuming and utterly ridiculous ways. That, would be my frustration.






2 thoughts on “Frustration.

  1. Anupama S.Shenoy says:

    I loved this .You have precisely described the terrors of travelling in a local train and the red tape of the railways. Keep writing! Waiting. For more such thought provoking blogs written in such an evocative way. Keep it up you.

    Liked by 1 person

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